Banana bendy faith

I fucking love that I got the wimple pattern from a LARPing friend.

This didn't even occur to me at the time but when I was chatting to Tom yesterday and he said that the wimple is like a ridiculous costume, I really connected some dots. 

I've been far to rigid about this piece, probably because of my trauma, but still it's pissed me off. In truth, I can bluff all I want but it still feels uncomfortable to touch that area of myself with my art, and to risk exposure and criticism for it too. It feels important to try and be as kind as possible to myself about this realisation.

It also feels important to say, fuck that, I survived and that is more than enough. I am trying to be proud of my messy beautiful inperfection. And that's a kind of magic.

It feels good to admit my rigidity and to give myself permission to relax into a more fluid creative space with it all. To play and heal even more deeply through making and sharing. Hopefully offering the same opportunity to others.

I remember talking with a therapist a few years ago and they said something that really struck me: "You can't be easily creative when you're in fight or flight mode."